Insanity
by lizza of the west
Summary: They got me. The demons got me. Post Ouran, mentioned TamaHaru, onesided HikaHaru, fic not based around pairings.
1. Journal

**The entry headers are important.**

**Don't just skip over them.**

**Entries from the diary of Fujioka Haruhi**

**Friday, 9/28/07**

**7:31 P.M.**

I've been in this room for a while now.

I'm not quite sure where I am, but even with my eyes closed I would be able to describe it perfectly.

The walls have various colored circles painted on, with a baby-vomit green background. There's a nightstand with a lamp, and a bookcase full of reading material, although only one, that being Goth, is in Japanese. Most of the books are French, consisting of Michel de Montaigne – The Complete Essays, The Vicomte de Bragelonne, Suite Francaise, and many others.

The floor is carpeted, a very bright pink color, although it clashes with the walls, something I've come to ignore.

Every day, three times a day-- on average around 9:17 A.M., 12:21 P.M, and 6:48 P.M-- two men come in and serve me food.

It's very rich, delicious food, and usually is accompanied by pounds of cake, although the shorter of the two men usually eats it. Something about the two men... I'll describe them here.

One is very tall and rarely speaks. His hair is black, short, and slightly spiked. I wonder what it feels like? Maybe I'll ask him next time he comes by. The other is very short, and very childlike. His hair is blond, and he always carts around a stuffed, pink rabbit. He very much enjoys sweets... it's a wonder he's so thin.

Both of them seem cheerful enough, but their eyes are dull and depressed, and I'm sure something is depressing in their lives.

They remind me of two friends I once had, but for the life of me I can't remember their names. I wish I knew the names of the men who serve my meals and the friends I once had. Maybe they're related.

**-x-x-x-**

**Saturday, 9/29/07**

**7:13 P.M.**

After the stoic man and childish man leave in the morning, two other men come within an hour and usually don't leave for a few hours. They're identical twins, redheads.

I can absolutely _not_ remember either of their names, but I can differentiate them. In my head I refer to them as K and H, because I know that those letters have something to do with them, but what, I'm not sure.

They tend to hold my hands a lot, and also have that depressed gleam to their eyes. Every now and then they cry. Not openly, though-- they quickly turn, brush the opposing tears away, then turn back with a forced smile.

Only once have they actually full out cried, though, and had to leave.

That time, I had asked them 'Do I know you?'. I guess it was a fairly harsh question, but I didn't know. They are used to me asking questions, but that one really did get to them.

My questions are usually somewhere along the lines of 'Why am I here?' or 'Did something bad happen?' or sometimes even 'Is everyone depressed because of me?'. They usually answer with a sad smile, and nothing more.

It's becoming frustrating.

Like with the two men who bring my food, I know I once had friends who were very much like them. If only I could remember their names!

**-x-x-x-**

**Sunday, 9/30/07**

**7:31 P.M.**

Once the twins leave, a raven haired man with glasses comes in and checks my pulse, temperature, blood pressure, and other normal physical exam aspects, minus urine samples and blood samples (although another doctor takes those once a month.) He seems very concerned for my health. I've been required to take many head x-rays, which I'm sure he arranged. He seems very calculative and powerful, and in my mind I have no doubt he wouldn't be able to have that happen for me within a few minutes notice.

Once he's done examining me physically, he just sits there and watches me for a while. It's a bit unnerving, so I usually just read whatever book I'm currently in the middle of. He used to talk to me, just chat a bit, until I asked him the same question I asked the twins which made them leave the room. Since then, he's remained silent while in my room.

I wish he'd talk. Although I can't remember his name or what he used to talk about, it would still be nice.

Again, same as the twins, the tall man, and the childish man, I could almost swear I know someone exactly like him. God, please help me remember who the hell these friends of mine are! Have I done something to deserve this? Is it my fault I can't remember them? What the hell is going on here? Why the fuck can't I remember anything!? Who the fucking hell are these people? Oh God, the room's starting to spin... the colors are blurring together. My head! It's killing me! What is wrong with me? I think

**-x-x-x-**

**Monday, 10/1/07**

**7:13 P.M.**

Sorry for the abrupt ending. I, at that point, lost control of my muscles and a few men needed to hold me down while one administered a shot to my arm. Has that happened to me before? I'm not sure. It seems they were ready for it though, so I guess it has. I was thinking too hard, I guess. Shouldn't wonder about things I don't remember, it might happen again.

The only other visitor who comes is a blond man. He is, by far, the most depressed. He sometimes comes when the others are here, but usually is alone. He actually is the one who encouraged me to write this. He hugs me often-- at first it scared me, but now it's become quite comforting. His eyes are sunken and have many bags under them, and his skin is pale. I feel horrible for imposing on him (Assuming this is his house, since he's here all the time.) He cries often. He says the name Haruhi fairly often as well, so I assume that's my name. He's said wife a few times, so I'm assuming some women I haven't met lives in this house somewhere. He doesn't do much, just talks. He tried kissing my forehead once, but I stopped him, seeing as he's married and shouldn't kiss other women _anywhere_. He cried again when I did that, then left.

I wonder why he was so upset about that.

I can't really describe the blond man anymore, but I'm starting to think this is his fault. He certainly does, he said so himself. He was apologizing about something related to why I was in the room.

The men who bring me my meals didn't show up today, but I was fed. A serious problem has come up, and I need to write about it: there are demons outside my room. Bad demons. I think they're trying to take me. There were two of them, a tall one and a short one...

**-x-x-x-**

**Tuesday, 10/2/07**

**7:31 P.M.**

There was one less twin and one more demon today. When K came in, the demon did too. I wonder what happened to H and the other two. The demons... the demons probably took them. I miss them. The men, that is. I hope they're doing well. At least K, doctor man, and the married one are still here, right? I hope the demons don't take me. Well, I'll write again later, the married one is here. I feel sorry for him, he seems really depressed.

**-x-x-x-**

**Wednesday, 10/3/07**

**7:13 P.M.**

Its official the demons are trying to kidnap me they tried taking me out of the room but i stopped them im afraid they mite come back i cant even think rite i think they drugged me my hed hurts im gonna rite ltr ok bye

**-x-x-x-**

**Tuesday, 12/18/07**

**7:13 P.M.**

_**Normal point of view.**_

Suoh Tamaki sighed as he read the entry his wife, Suoh Haruhi, had just written by his request.

"_They got me._

_The demons got me._

_They've drugged me and help me captive and God knows what._

_The demons' leader is sitting next to me, forcing me to write."_

**-x-x-x-**

•owari•

If enough people ask for it, I might turn this into a multiple chapter fic, including each host's POV (if you guys want that) or explaining what the hell happened that caused Haruhi to go insane.


	2. Smile

_**Chapter 2: Smile**_

**From Haninozuka Mitsukuni's point of view**

Haru-chan hasn't smiled for almost two years.

Ever since it happened, her face has been devoid of all emotion.

Tama-kun claims its his fault, and maybe it is. I still don't know all of the details.

I don't think Tama-kun would _ever _hurt Haru-chan on purpose, let alone badly enough for... this to happen.

He'd probably ban someone from the country if they even so much as gave her a dirty look.

I'm pretty sure it isn't Tama-kun's fault, he loves Haru-chan too much.

Haru-chan changed all of us in so many ways. We all love her, and would all die before hurting her. There's no way this is Tama-kun's fault.

Either way, Haru-chan doesn't remember us, which makes me and all of the others sad. We aren't complete without our Haru-chan.

I miss Haru-chan's smile.

**A/N: Yeah, it's short. All of the host's POV's will be short.**

**...Which means, of course, I decided to continue this.**

**Also, I'm continuing HAGS, but God knows when the next chapter will be up for that...**


	3. Questions

_**Chapter 3: Questions**_

**From Morinozuka Takashi's point of view**

She rarely speaks, but when she does, she only interrogates us. Questions such as, 'Who am I?' or, 'Why am I here?' are heard in that room a few times each day, but if you stayed in her room for a _year_, you would _neve_r hear her state something, such as, 'What pleasant weather. Perfect for grocery shopping,' as she used to. It's funny, in a twisted way, how one event could change her this much. Not that any of us even know what that one event_ is_, though. I'm guessing, however, that it's linked to her daughter. Tamaki told us he felt it was in everyone's best interest if he sent their daughter went to live with one of his aunts, and we haven't seen her since. And... the day he first told us that... was the day before Haruhi had her first attack. 

Tamaki still claims, after two years, that it was his fault. Mitsukuni and I have had several discussions about it, and neither of us believe Tamaki would be able to cause this. She still has not been diagnosed with any particular mental disorder, but there is a group of doctors looking into Post-traumatic stress disorder, seeing if by any chance it could affect her _this badly_. Her symptoms aren't usual PTSD symptoms, however, so they believe it to be highly unlikely. It would help if she or Tamaki could tell us what actually happened, but I guess she doesn't remember. All she does is question us.

Questions aren't a satisfactory form of communication.

**-x-x-x-**

**A/N: Anyone else smell irony?**

**Anyways.**

**After chapter 7, which will be Tamaki's POV, I'll be posting what caused her to slip into this state of mind as a separate story. Why? Because it's M-rated, and I don't want to suddenly change the rating on this.**

**Sorry for the wait, one of the twins will be next. Kaoru, most likely.**


	4. Remember

_**Chapter 4: Remember**_

**From Hitachiin Kaoru's point of view**

She doesn't even _remember_ us.

How could Tamaki manage to do that?

That's right, he couldn't. Therefor, I believe whatever happened, while it must have involved him, wasn't his fault.

...Hikaru disagrees.

He didn't approve of their marriage in the first place, so of course, he was the first to blame Tamaki.

If only he were more grateful of what Tono did for us...

Speaking of Tamaki, he's become even more depressed-- he locked himself in his room yesterday and hasn't come out or responded to anyone.

I guess he'll come out when he's hungry, or something like that.

...She doesn't remember him, either...

I wonder what it's like, having your own _wife_ forget you?

It sounds horrible. If not having one of your closest friends remember you feels this bad...

...I'm surprised he isn't suicidal.

Especially considering the fact that he blames this entire situation on himself.

The mansion he convinced us all to move into after we had all graduated college is beautiful and seems like it's full of happy, living people.

Well, we do stay there, but no one's living.

Not without a Haruhi who has her memories intact.

**888888888888888888888888888888888888**

**A/N: Yeah, I didn't know what to write for Kaoru .. Hikaru's next.**


End file.
